Don’t ask for direction as Benji once did. He wanted to know where Miss Ann lived. He had to unravel the following reply:
“Walk down that hill till you reach ah water pipe. Dat pipe always running; dem children always leaving it on. You will come to a gap there with bush for so on the side and lahee in ah drain. Go up the gap till you meet ah big silk cotton tree. People does pee there so it might smell bad in the hot sun. Pass the tree and walk till you come to a big white house with a green gate. Watch out for Mister Johnson big bull dog. That dog doh eat nice, it once bite Mitchell on his bam bam! Pass Johnson house and walk till you see ah rum shop. Dem good-for nothing always maccoing dey and talking bad about woman. There is a little hill by the shop, dem fellas does lime there. Go down the hill till you meet ah junction. You will find ah mash-up old car park by the cross road. It belong to ah fella who went to England. Dey say he head doh good. He was ah good man until he ate sweat rice and became basodee and aboutah. Dey say jumbie pee on him. Near the old mash-up cabosay car is ah mango tree. Dat mango sweet too bad but doh eat it you go get shittings and loose bowels. Pass the mango tree till you come to a Seven Day Adventist church. You might hear dem singing in dey. Opposite the church you will see ah board house and ah wall house. Miss Ann live in the board house.
By the way is two Miss Ann, ah fat one and ah Magga dry bone one. Is the fat one ah tell you about. You want to know where the thin one live?
Written by Anthony DeRiggs
